I've been thinking a lot lately...

...about life in general, about enjoying every moment of every day, about not taking things for granted and keeping my complaining about things that don't really matter to a minimum. There are two main reasons this has been on my mind lately. First, I have a couple of patients right now who are at the end stages of their disease and are processing and dealing with everything associated with impending death. Second (and I'm embarrassed to admit this), I've just not been motivated lately at work. Mostly I think, because I have a million things running through my brain about moving to Chicago, finding a place to live, finding a job, finishing up things here at work, packing, and leaving everyone in Birmingham.

Now, I have a whole new reason to appreciate the day-to-day activities and not take things for granted. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know I've been having back problems for some time now (on and off for the past 12 years). Last week it was "acting up"again and on Saturday I really should have known better and just stayed home, relaxed, and tried not to do too much in hopes that it would calm down. Instead, I woke up early and tried to run about 10 errands before the Penn State game at 11. I was getting quite uncomfortable as the morning went on, but I kept going knowing that I was getting everything done and wouldn't have to go anywhere on Sunday.

And then I sneezed.

Ouch. I have never felt such intense, excruciating pain in my low back. I had to pull over almost immediately (yes, I was driving when it happened, thankfully I didn't get in an accident!) I came home and laid down for a few hours because usually that's the only thing that helps. I took some pain meds that I had leftover from the last time this happened in May of 2009. A few hours later, I tried to get up and that's when I knew I had to go to the ER. I didn't think there was anything they could really do for me but all I knew was that I was in the most pain I've ever been in in my whole life.

We went to the UAB ER (and allow me to recommend going to the ER during an Alabama football game...we got to go back immediately)! I was right, there really wasn't anything they could do for me, except give me a giant shot of Valium, Toradol, and Morphine right in my butt (and is it professional behavior for the nurse to tell you that you don't have any "junk in your trunk" while she's giving you a shot?) They sent me home with some prescriptions that eventually led to a nice, pain free, drug induced sleep.

Today I'm set up on the couch planning not to move unless I have to go to the bathroom. I can hopefully get an appointment with an orthopedist tomorrow. I really think I ruptured one of my bulging discs....which there isn't much that can be done to fix it, except rest and healing. That means I'm out of work Monday-Wednesday, and we're supposed to fly to Chicago on Thursday to find a place to live, meet with Tom's lab, and I was going to meet with two different potential employers. So now that's all up in the air!

So as soon as I recover from this and I'm able to work again, I definately won't have any trouble staying motivated!